On Instagram?

Check out Hype & Stuff's Instagram page

Categories: CultureFeatured
| On 2 years ago

10 Things You Shouldn’t Do In Singapore After A Break-Up

They say breaking up is a process. Well, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom, I’ve had to go through this process now say… about three and a half times? I’d explain the bit about ‘half’ but that’s another story for another day.

Bottom line is – IT’S HARD YO. I wikihow-ed (no judgment please) “how to get over a break-up” and the internet keeps telling me to distract myself, keep myself busy. The problem is, Singaporeans kind of live on an island. Distractions are few and far between.

Naturally, I find myself going through a vicious cycle and for everyone’s reading pleasure, I’ve decided to dissect my pain.

Here are 10 things you shouldn’t do in Singapore after a break-up:

1. Don’t Go To Spize And Eat Three Roti John Kings All At Once

Okay, please don’t get me wrong, Spize is LOVE. But if you’re like me and you tend to eat your feelings, three Roti John Kings isn’t the way to go.

It will make you feel better for about five minutes before you realise what you’ve just done and then you will cry into your Teh O Peng. True story everybody.

Instead, eat just one, cry a little bit and maybe come back the next day for more.

2. Don’t Go To Marina Barrage To “Find Yourself”

Marina Barrage, East Coast Park, Coney Island… The point is, you want to be alone and you want time to think. Doesn’t hurt to be somewhere that’s quite scenic to boot. I’ve done this a few times now and I have come to realise that this is after all Singapore. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

I get to Marina Barrage, switch my phone to airplane mode, pan my gaze along the city skyline and just when I’m about to contemplate my deepest, darkest thoughts… I notice the seven or so couples contemplating each other around me.

Yupp, forever alone and yet not.

3. Don’t Play An Unhealthy Amount Of LAN Games

I would love to say that I’m one of those gamer girls because guys think that’s hot or whatever but since we’re being honest, I just like killing zombies.

Left For Dead 2 has seen me through some dark times but it has always bordered on unhealthy. Sitting in a dingy LAN shop for more than five hours, thinking that two cans of liang teh will bring down your rising body temperature is not the best way to cope with a break-up.

Try limiting it to a two-hour kill fest to vent all that anger and then go to Spize and get a Roti John King.

4. Don’t Impulsively Sign Up For TWO Gym Memberships

I can almost hear my fitspo friends screaming in protest. Relax guys, I’m not saying exercise isn’t a good distraction. In fact, getting that bangin’ bod was top of my break-up list to you know, make him regret his life and stuff.

But I signed up for TWO gyms. Who even does that. I guess what I’m saying is, don’t overdo it. You probably don’t even have the money to support that decision!

5. Don’t Spend All Your Money On Alcohol

Speaking of no money, break-ups are just really bad for bank accounts all around. The number one thing people tend to do is drown their sorrows in copious amounts of alcohol.

If it’s not your choice, it’s probably your friends’. And that’s okay. Drinking in Singapore is really expensive though so just be sure to let everyone know how sad you are so that THEY buy you drinks.

6. Don’t Sign Up/ Go Back To Tinder

Ah… Tinder. The breeding ground for either absolute nonsense or the occasional success story. I’m not saying Tinder won’t help you get back in the game in the future, but if you’re going through a break-up, having someone ask if they can “reach into your cookie jar” may not be the emotional boost you need at this point.

Instead, maybe just use your friend’s Tinder to swipe right on every person so you get the amusement minus the abuse.

7. Don’t Stalk Your Ex Then “Bump” Into Him At KYO

Right, ladies, this is one of my biggest regrets. It’s normal to miss the guy and want him to know how “well” you are doing post break-up. I’m guilty of at least one occasion where I’ve convinced my friends that we’re due for a KYO Ladies Night, when actually I just knew that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was going to be there.

Trust me, bumping into him drunk is NOT going to be make you feel better. Or get him back.

8. Don’t Up Your Selfie Game x20 To Look Like You’re Happy

On the point of wanting my Ex to see that I’m okay, I distinctly remember my 2013 break-up leading to a spike in my Instagram activity (if that’s even possible). Knowing that your Ex still follows you and will probably see your 300 new selfies may make you feel better for awhile but trust me, sometimes you just have to rip the band aid off.

Block him on all forms of social media, for awhile at least, and if you’re going to post selfies, make sure you do it for yourself and not for someone so undeserving.

9. Don’t Spend Six Hours KTV-ing

Everyone loves Adele because she articulates so perfectly all the emotions that we can’t. (Almost) everyone loves to KTV because what else is there to do in Singapore right? Combining both under break-up circumstances is however, not ideal.

It’s all cool when you’re with your girls and yelling out “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls but when it gets to that Adele number and you’re the only one cry-singing… yeah.

Just maybe don’t go for the six hour KTV package.

10. Don’t Work Yourself To The Bone

The older I get, the more I seem to throw myself at this coping mechanism instead: Work. A very successful distraction if I do say so myself but by no means a healthy one. It’s easy to get carried away drowning yourself in work, especially in the Singaporean environment.

BUT, this isn’t a sustainable way to deal with the hurt because you might end up having to write an article based on your personal life that you’re willing to share with the public and now that you’re finishing it, you regret everything.

Seriously though, it’s easy to joke about the pain but we all deal with break-ups in our own way. Just keep doing what’s best for you and be sure to surround yourself with your friends and family because they are going to get you through this difficult time.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be a tiny speck right now, but one day you’ll wake up and realise that your heart is that bit lighter. In the mean time, just remember that you always have Roti John King, and Roti John King will never disappoint you (unless you eat three).

Get the latest updates by following us on Twitter @hypeandstuff & Facebook Have an interesting story to share? Email us at hyperstuff@hypeandstuff.com
Marissa Mir

25 and still trying very hard to adult.

We're hiring lifestyle writers!